Why men struggle to heal: masculinity, emotional repression, and the path back to connection

Why do so many men struggle to express their emotions, ask for help, or feel deeply connected to themselves and others?

In this episode of The Alchemy of Masculinity, I’m joined by Sevag for a powerful conversation on men’s mental health, masculinity, emotional repression, and the lifelong journey of healing. Recorded during Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, we explore the personal, cultural, and generational forces that shape how men relate to emotions, vulnerability, and growth.

Sevag shares his experience growing up in a family marked by trauma, navigating father and mother wounds, and learning to reconnect with himself through personal responsibility, emotional awareness, and action-oriented healing. Together, we explore why many men resist healing work, how modern life contributes to disconnection, and why brotherhood and community are more important than ever.

We also discuss the impact of fatherlessness, burnout, pornography, technology, and generational trauma, along with the role of somatic practices, breathwork, therapy, nature, plant medicine, and ADHD diagnosis in supporting emotional regulation and healing.

This conversation is especially relevant for men navigating emotional healing, mental health, Shadow Work, masculine embodiment, and the ongoing process of becoming more integrated, grounded, and connected.

In This Episode:

• Men’s mental health and emotional repression
• Father wounds, mother wounds, and generational trauma
• Why many men resist healing and vulnerability
• Masculinity, brotherhood, and male connection
• Solitude versus loneliness in men’s lives
• Somatic healing, breathwork, and therapy
• Porn addiction, shame, and emotional regulation
• Nature, plant medicine, and emotional release
• ADHD, self-awareness, and personal responsibility
• Astrology as a framework for growth and self-understanding

Healing is not about arriving at perfection. It is about learning to return to yourself more quickly each time you lose your way.

Transcript

Men’s Mental Health Intro As I record this episode, it's Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, and although it's important to navigate the mind regardless of man or woman, it's even more so important to navigate the heart. As boys, we are taught from very young that expressing emotion is weak, and as we carry this paradigm into our manhood, what happens is that instead of feeling more connection, we feel more dissonance. Instead of feeling empowered, we feel compensation for that power. Today's conversation is a testament to two men who are doing the work, and how having the tough conversations is really the only means toward our healing and salvation when it comes to our not only humanity, but our masculinity. Hi, everyone, welcome to another episode of The Bridger of Worlds podcast. I'm your host, Ioannis Kokkinos. Thank you for being here today. Meet Sevag Sev Helps So for those of you on YouTube, as you can see, I have another guest here on the podcast. This is Sevag. We met on Threads, so he is a thread officially, as we say so on the platform. So Sevag has quite the story. He's an astrologer. He dabbles in neurodivergence, generational trauma. I do love the way he writes and thinks as far as all these modalities are concerned, so I thought it'd be a good idea to bring him on the podcast today to, uh, have a conversation around all themes and topics regarding masculinity, healing, archetypal meanings, generational trauma, which I do sense is going to be a big one today. And, uh, yeah, Sevag, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing? How are you feeling? Well, be- better than ever. The-- Truly living the dream, and wow, that was really good, Ioannis. Amazing to hear. That was very, very good. Um- Very good. Good Thank you. Thank you. So yes, my name is Sev Ogg. Thank you for having me on your podcast. Um- You're welcome ... my personal brand is called Sev Helps, and that's just kind of a, my lifelong brand. I can put it down and take it back up with me. I work many jobs. I'm a accountant, image technician, an astrologer, a DJ, a voice actor, a hiking trail guide, you know? Like wear- wearing all the hats, wearing all the hats as, as one especially has to do nowadays in such a fast-changing, technologically fluid world where th- there's, like, a lot of Eastern and Western modalities I see being combined. Seeing indigenous plant medicine being combined with psychedelic plant medicine. Yeah. And it's like, okay, in- interesting, interesting. But I do think it's important to slow down, especially in our world in 2026. Like, there's... We have so much opportunity, there's also so much potential for burnout, and then, like- Yeah ... our monkey minds can't keep up with just the leap, the leaps in technological innovation and, like, what they mean for us. Like, I know the whole transhumanism debate has sparked a lot of controversy in, in just, like, spiritual circles, um, recently. Reclaiming Self and Family Wounds My story has to do with basically reclaiming myself and finding home in myself, growing up in a family. Like, it seems my karmic test was, all right, dude, you're gonna be born into a family where you feel all alone emotionally, and you're just gonna have to source all of that by yourself. Mm-hmm. And, like, it doesn't mean I didn't have friends, I didn't have, you know, supporters along the way, but there was definitely a gap in, like, the father and the mother. Mm-hmm. I had both the mother and the father wounds. Mm-hmm. I saw what it looked like when each side did not have what they needed. And so I have great reverence and respect for both women and men pretty equally, and it's really sad to me, Ioannis, that, um... Like, I, I've even had, like, some feminist, like, I'm pretty sure they're bots too. Like, that's another thing. Online, most of the accounts you're interacting with are not real human beings. They're bots. They're disinforma- like, you know, like, meant to sow hate, fear, and discord. Like, do not fall for, for the, for the matrix psyop going on right in front of us right now. So this bot, she told me, 'cause I said, "Men and women are complementary," and she was like, "Oh, that's a rigid dog whistle for the patriarchy." And I'm like, "So you're telling me men and women are supposed to be adversarial? Like, that's not loving. That's not compassionate. How does that make any logical sense? It's just, it's frustrating when truths like this are just second nature to you, and to other people it's just duh. And you're just like, bro, like, no wonder this journey feels so lonely. Fucking A, like- ... like, it feels like you're taking crazy pills, like, you know? Like, and I know I'm kind of ranting a bit, you know. Like, I'll, I'll wrap, I'll wrap up my point. Um, but Um, I've been through hell and back. I've been through things that would have killed and made a statistic out of- Mm-hmm ... a lot of people, frankly. Like, it's, it's not, it doesn't even feel like much of a brag. It's just, like- Right ... I know what I'm here to do now, and, like, you know, I'm no longer the scared, impressionable little boy that- Mm-hmm you know, sought external validation in every area of his life, you know, that wanted the love of his mother, of his father, you know? Like, just, like, I, I barely even recognize the version of myself six months ago, dude. Like, the change, the shedding, the molting, the deaths and rebirths, it's relentless. But that's what we're here for. Yeah. That's why we're here, guys. You know, if it was comfort- if it was, if it did not require courage, then it wouldn't really be profound. It wouldn't have the impact that it has on you, your audience, everyone doing the work on themselves, 'cause they wanna liberate themselves from themselves. Yeah. Why Men Resist Healing And, uh, so many men, I mean, I don't know exact numbers or percentages, but obviously I think men are catching on as far as, you know, how important it is to do the inner work, 'cause it affects how they show up in the world. It affects their relationships, even career, money and all that. Um, but there's still quite a good chunk of men, uh, I mean, as we see online, that resist the work. Like, whether it's any modality of healing, like whether we're looking at traditional psychotherapy all the way to, I don't know, like reiki healing, breathwork, guided meditation, even studying your astrology chart, right? Why do you think there's more resistance from men than there are from women? I think the socialization of men, like women get way more kind of onboarding, hand-holding when it comes to emotional fluency and learning about that whole just system and world. Hmm. Whereas, you know, like, and like of course patriarchy, colonization, late stage capitalism, you know, like a lot, like one could even start to begin to the trace of the de- the deterioration of men from like the Industrial Revolution. 'Cause before that, all the men, like brothers, uncles, fathers, were all kind of in the same group. You know, like it wasn't quite like tribal times, but you know, you all worked on the same farm. But then Industrial Revolution- Yeah ... Dad suddenly has to go into the city and work 16-hour shifts, and then he starts getting abusive because he's, you know, tired and disheveled from, you know, factories grinding him into a fine powder. So then he brings that stress home. And then like once World War I hit, like, you know, that, you know, it just cr- the rifts of fatherlessness- Hmm ... like the, the ripples just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger, and nowadays we're just seeing the culmination of the nursery of ex- excessive porn, video games, like testosterone plummeting, which in a, some people can even argue is an intentional like PSYOP to, to kill the... 'Cause, you know, if you have weak men, they're more easily able to be controlled, and they're more violent and temperamental. They're more willing to, you know, commit crimes. That feeds the whole private prison system, like especially in the West, man, like it's- Like men are resistant to it because, especially if you're a man who's ever had to go get dragged to couples therapy if, when you're in a relationship and that was your only experience with therapy. With men, we need action-oriented problem-solving. Talking about and rehashing your trauma in a therapy setting is not helpful for the vast majority of men. Mm-hmm. Now, talk therapy has its time and place. I'm very lucky my talk therapist is also like a breathwork- Mm ... like Tai Chi- Or, or a body man ... Reiki master. Like he, he, he can chant in Sanskrit like the specific chants for what, uh, for what ailment I'm trying to address while I'm doing like alternate nostril breathing. You know? Like most people don't have a dynamic therapist like that who can also help you with your somatics and identify, okay, where is the anger? Yeah. Okay, where do you feel the love exploding in your body? It's like the body's scanning these sensations. Like this is all of the areas of disconnection in the West that is so rampant. Like women are a bit better connected to their bodies, and mostly because they have to be biologically 'cause of their menstrual cycles and all that stuff. It's like- But, but I know some men that are like, that know more about like women's like biology and rhythms than even some women do. Right. You know? It's like I wanna know about that stuff too, 'cause it's like it helps me be a better human being and partner. It's like, hmm, okay, does she want a heated blanket, dark chocolate, raspberries, and a hug, like iron? Does she want a cute date? You know, does she want like a good like weightlifting workout? It's like where is she in the month? W- you know? 'Cause like she's, you know, gonna be no less than like four different women. And I, I can say this because I grew up with an older sister. I grew up in a matriarch household. You know, like my mom was a primary breadwinner. The men were the passive nice guys. I can say shit like this because it's my lived experience. Yeah. Brotherhood and Responsibility So many of the inflammatory talking points online, it's not my experience, guys. Don't, don't put that shit on me. Like, I'm sorry a lot of that shit happened to you, but there's also a lot of victimhood out there, and personal responsibility is not sexy to give as a rebuttal, but it's true. Like, guys, come on. Like, we, we all gotta grow up. Look at the day and age that we live in. Like, if the last five to 10 years has not been a call to action like, oh, I better get my shit together because the people around me and the government are not going to make my life awesome for me. Nah, dude, it's all on you and your sisterhood and your brotherhood. Like men need brotherhood. Women need sisterhood. You can't lean on just one person for your source of happiness. Hmm. It doesn't fucking work. Yeah. You know? Like it's, I understand these are hard existential truths to face. Some, for some people it's a rude awakening, 'cause they've been avoiding, you know, the tasks they've had to do for years. You know? Tools That Actually Help Like it's a very sobering reality, but not every man has to go to talk therapy, for example, but I've had to weave so many different modalities. Talk therapy was one of them. Getting diagnosed with ADHD and getting fucking stimulant medication, you know, Adderall, Ritalin. Like, like I use a lot of those meds sparingly now, but at the time they saved my life, truly. Mm-hmm. 'Cause I could finally... My brain could finally put the rubber to the road. I could finally follow through with tasks my brain wanted to do, um, which in itself can be an antidepressant even though it's not marketed as... It's marketed as a stimulant. But the fact that you can follow through when before you couldn't, now you actually can build self-esteem. Yeah. You can build self-efficacy. You can build confidence in yourself that you can solve hard challenges. You'll be okay. You know what I mean? Like, we need that undeniable stack of proof that we are who we say we've been cultivating. You know? It's not, it's not a fluke. It's not a lie. You might have self-doubt, but that's another thing, guys. Fearlessness. You know what that means? It's not the absence of fear. It means you're scared and you do it, you do the thing scared anyways. Yeah. That's what that means. You know? There's no other- Like, it's not this m- it's not this macho, like, "I'm not scared. No fear. Show no fear." Like, shut the fuck up, bro. You have a scared little boy inside. Like, shut the fuck up. Like, you see it's like I see through everyone's performance, your mask. If you're not being real with me, I will find out, and that's the thing, Ioannis, like, being this aware, being able to see and feel everything, I'm the snake in the grass and I'm also the eagle in the sky. It's a very lonely journey, bro. A lot of people find me too intense, too real. They don't like... I can dig into myself in ways that takes people lifetimes to do. Yeah. And I wonder how you feel about that. Solitude Versus Loneliness I mean, uh, there's a lot to unpack there. I think that as far as, like, the healing journey is concerned, there are definitely stages of, like... I don't like to use the word loneliness as far as the healing journey is concerned. I do believe there are necessary phases of solitude. Absolutely ... 'cause solitu- solitude and loneliness are different. I feel like- Yeah ... if you're choosing to be alone, you don't wanna have anything to do with anybody and, um, you know, those around you, and y- you're just pissed off or you, you don't wanna be social, whatever, that's, that's another thing. But necessary solitude in order to self-reflect, contemplate, to meditate more, to spend time in nature on your own, right? I mean, this was a vast part of my life, in the last eight years since I moved to Greece, um, which I didn't expect. Uh, coming here, moving here, I-- like you said before, where you didn't, you don't recognize the person you were six months ago, I definitely- Mm-hmm don't recognize the person that I was when I moved here eight years ago. And we could get into this later or now, but as far as generational trauma's concerned, and this was such a integral part of the journey here that I did not realize that I was gonna move through. And- Mm of course, we can talk about DNA, we can talk about, like, epigenetics, genetic information, trauma gets passed on, yes. But then there's, like, the woo-woo aspect of ancestral healing. Mm. So, like, the actual spirits of the ancestors and the spirits of the places that call you, the land. Like, this is the land where I was born. I was always very- Yeah ... deeply connected to the music and to the dances of my heritage. And, uh, this for me is the means to com- communicate and commune with the ancestors that are with me. So that does require solitude. And was it more than I would have liked? Yes, because I am- ... a social animal. I used to come to Greece in the summers and organize where to go for parties and festivals and, you know, clubbing and all that, um- Yeah ... so coming here and just pulling that U-turn to go within myself, but also being in nature, this was A1, being just connected to the wilderness of Greece and connecting, as I said, to spirits and ancestral energies and entities- Yeah ... has been, um, grueling, challenging, but also very illuminating. Mm-hmm. I do believe moving here has been, uh, has contributed the most to my healing. Interesting. Uh, 'cause, 'cause it started before Greece. Like, I started my healing journey way before Greece. For the listeners here, they know I've been moving... I moved through porn addiction and recovery for many years, and I've talked about that a lot on previous episodes. Mm. But it's also, like, that, that mystic piece, the portion of healing that requires us to go beyond our egoic knowing- Mm ... and upbringing and what, what we learn as far as, like, programming is concerned, right? When we start to meditate, when we start to open, when we start to connect to nature and to, um, our surroundings, um, in that solitude, we actually start to feel not alone, which has been incredibly healing in my, uh, experience. And I know you spent time in nature. You said you're a hiking guide. Um, how does nature and the wilderness influence your journey, your healing? And also, I'd love to get into the ancestral piece later, um- Sure, sure, sure, sure with you. Um, yeah, a good distinction, first of all, um, between solitude and loneliness. I guess I should have... It's like, there's so much I wanna talk about, but I don't wanna keep opening new sub-umbrella tabs for- Yeah ... you know? Like, uh, y- y- as much as I want to. Like, I love it- This, this was my ca- this was the case with me in my earlier episodes. Oh, really? Right. Yeah, no. There's just so much you wanna say. Yeah. No. We- we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll dedic- we'll dedicate more, um, topics for more full-length, um, conversations. But, um, yes. Yes, yes, yes, because leveling up in my life, I've had more solitude than Like interconnectedness with people- Mm ... I'd say. Um, mostly in my earlier life. Now, now I'm, I'm like the most social animal I've ever been just because I'm the most fleshed out I've ever been. But yes, like at times my journey has felt extremely lonely. But the times of Solitude where you really go beyond yourself. Like, yeah, that is really where, you know, you do find the company and the comfort in, like, me, myself, and I. Like, you know, like, you are the only one that, you know, if no one is around, you can still give yourself a hug. Nature and Plant Medicine Like, you can still, um... And to your point about nature, um, just like, you know, for me communing with cannabis and mushrooms and just going on, like, an 8, 10-mile hike, like, it's like 10 years, bro, it's like 20 years of therapy in, like, four hours. Mm. Super productive for me, for me personally. Like, I get so much done when I'm out, up there, you know? It's... Get the sun in my face, the wind, fresh air. I'm away from people. Um, like, I'm, I'm moving. My, my fascia is getting recharged. Um, you know, like- Does it entail emotional release at all? Do you- Hell yeah. Hell yeah, bro. Yeah. Like, and there was, like, a study- Just, like, give it to nature. You just give it to the wilderness. Yeah. Y- and, and, and it's funny. Like, I'll, I'll put a pin in that, but, um, like, it, like, I feel like it liberates your mitochondrial energy. It's- Yeah ... things start coming up that have been weighing on your, like, on your mind, but you're too busy in your day-to-day, like, with your job and, like, meal prepping, cleaning your apartment or whatever it is. Like, in your day-to-day, it's hard to carve that, that deep time to go deep. So, like- Yeah ... a couple hours on the weekends just, like, going into the mountains, you know, with, like, water, electrolytes, you know, fucking Gatorade, dark chocolate- Sugar ... fruit. And, and then, yeah, and then my mushrooms. And then, like, bro, even, like, with, like, my weed pens, I'll, like, speak my intentions into them before I, I use them. Like, self peace, inner child calm, connection. You know, like, less words. Like, I find when speaking inten- imbuing something with intention, the less words the better. Like, the universe responds better to s- you know, specifics. Yeah. You know? And like, you know- You gotta get specific. Exactly, yeah. Y- yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and, like, don't give a whole dissertation to, to, to your plant medicine, you know? Just, yeah. But, but it does work. It does work. Even if it's just placebo, even if you don't believe in a lot of this stuff yet, you know, there's no denying that it works. It's kind of like, "Ugh, I really don't wanna go to the gym. Like, that's the last thing I wanna do." But even if you just get, like, an, a half-hour workout in, afterwards you're like- Damn it, I do feel better. You know, it's like one of those, one of those things. But there was this study with this ultra-marathon runner. He ran 500 miles taking psychedelics, like pretty much the entire way. Midway through he hit a plateau. A lot of un- a lot of trauma and, you know, painful memories were coming up, and as soon as he was able to process that, it liberated the energy for him to continue the race. So it's the same thing, man. It's, it's our unintegrated pain. Hmm. It needs a home to land. It needs reframing mentally, and it needs somatic, like witnessing. Yeah. Like, like you're wit- A witnessing ... you know what I mean? Like that it, it needs all of those pieces for complete healing, at least it did for me. You know? Shadow Work and Narcissism So that- So would you call that the shadow? Is that the shadow? I'd say so, yeah. Like the un- unintegrated- Because I bec- like, 'cause, because I look at my brother, I look at other members of my family who remained narcissistic, avoidant, always pointing the blame finger at everyone else except themselves, not knowing there's fucking three fingers pointing right back at them. Like, something is... Like, it- I don't know, man. It's weird. It's, it's like I almost wanna say it's a mental illness. It gets to the point where neglect and not getting the love that you needed and the safety that you needed as a child, that, like, like a Pokemon, it evolves into something more evil to where it's like my, like... So w- some theories are he had too many negative entities latch onto him, which I think is just, it's him. It's his own subconscious being reflected back at him. But at a certain point, it's too heavy- Right ... and you can't break free as much as you want to. But I disagree, though, because s- some kids come out of families, like the most traumatic ass families, and then there's always the, the offspring that becomes just like their shitty parents or the other child that succeeds in the complete opposite direction. You know, no matter how traumatic the family was, there's always the person that is, like, incorruptible almost. There's like a light inside them, and this is why narcs and empaths are magnets, because empaths are this, like, internal nuclear reactor of, like, radiance and self-esteem, whereas the narcissists, they're completely hollow, hollow mirrors. They, they're like vampires. They constantly need supply outside of them to stay alive. Yeah. To liter- like, fucking it, it's exactly what it is, bro. It's f- it's really weird when you can see it this clearly and you're just like- So- ... damn, bro, The Matrix, The Matrix is a nonfiction documentary more and more every day. You're, I mean, you're obviously, you're highly empathic. I mean, you're highly sensitive person, empathic. So would you say growing up you were also just taking on your, you know, in, in the household, taking on emotions, taking on energies? And then- Yep ... I also wanna ask the same question for Sevag the adult now when he's out in the wilderness. Do you pick up and feel entities and energies when you're out in the wilderness? Like, yeah, when I was a kid, life through my senses somatically was overwhelming, like, all the time. Yeah. All the time for most of my early life except when I played video games. That was my only, like, reprieve- Mm ... from, from growing up in a dysfunctional household where the parents were so traumatized themselves and made it about themselves all the time. You know what I mean? Dad grew up in Lebanon with bombs falling over his head. The genocide happened a few generations ago, so just the butterfly ripples. And also another thing, Western Armenians are more matriarchal because when the Turks attacked from the west, they killed most of the men, so most Western Armenian families are matriarchal. Whereas the Eastern Armenians, like, they retained a lot of their patriarchal, you know, households, 'cause- Okay ... you know, they, they had more, they had more advanced, uh, warning. So it's just, it's just cool, it's just interesting seeing the ancestral generational inheritance of the trauma of what you... of all that stuff. And, um, so yeah, growing up was... It just felt like a lot of my early life was playing catch-up and repair and reclaiming what I should have received as a child. Mm. But I had to give it to myself as an adult. Now, as... Yeah, in nature, do I feel entities? Honestly, bro, it's... I love nature because it's like going from 100 TV channels going on at the same time to, like, two. It lowers the volume of stimulus in the world- Mm ... to where it's like, it's so quiet out there, like, no one around, very little EMF, Wi-Fi radiation. Like, you know what I mean? When you go out there, you're just like, "Wow." I also get it, though. It's like- I wanna move out of the city and move more into, like, real nature like that. I also know I'm moving from one extreme to the other, and also living in a rejuvenating environment like that can kinda give a false sense of mastery and superiority over your peers that live in, like, the, you know, at New York City or LA. But, but if it's true that the universe responds to the frequency that you're vibrating and not exactly what you're doing, then doesn't it stand to reason, like, you would manifest way better if, like, I was living in, like, a more rejuvenating environment even if it was kind of softer, like not in, so much in the arena of life? Hmm. I don't know, dude. These are interesting things that each person kinda has to figure out for themselves. Like, I, I wanna give it a shot, you know? I wanna try living in the woods, in the forest, like, you know, working remotely, like, fully reclaiming my agency, the way I make money, the way, you know, I relate to people. Like, I wanna do everything on my terms, 'cause I feel like I grew up in a world that, you know, rou- round peg in a square hole, or whatever the saying is. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's just like, dude, fuck this. I'm trying to... I'm tired of trying to adapt to the world. I'm gonna bend the world to adapt to me. It's like, I, I'm gonna die in, like, 90, 100 years. Like, who cares, dude? Like, we're... Like, people act like they're gonna get out of this intact and keep their bodies. We're not. Not happening, guys. So gotta reframe, get your perspective back. It's very easy to get lost in the sauce. Ego goes unchecked. You know what I mean? Like, there, there's no end to it, man. Like, g- gotta, gotta... Each day has, needs to have a balance of fluid, of fluidity and structure, you know? 'Cause life's to-do list is infinite, so we gotta pace ourselves every day. But also knowing if you're trying to level up, start a business, you know, get to the next level of your life, you're gonna have to Over-index on living an unbalanced life, you know? Fucked up sleep schedule, et cetera, et cetera, 'cause you're trying to, you know, ov- you know, level up in this department. So there are times in life where it's not gonna be balanced, like you said, the solitude. Um, so does that answer your question? Yeah, definitely. Ancestral Trauma Awakening I just wanna ask, uh, touch upon when did you start becoming aware of, like, ancestral trauma? Or like you're seeing patterns in your household and you're like, "Actually, this is stuff from like 50, 100 years ago, hundreds of years ago," and, you know, you mentioned the genocide, you mentioned, uh, bombs going off in Lebanon and your father moving through that. When did you become aware that trauma can get passed on? Like, I'd say probably in college because before then it was just a visceral feeling of this is extremely unpleasant and I'm very, very confused. Because as a child, every child naturally is narcissistic from a survival point of view. You have to be. Um, not everyone grows out of that phase though. Um, but yeah, but once you have the critical thinking and the intelligence to connect the dots and be like, "Oh, my parents are not superheroes. Oh, they're very flawed human beings that have their own wounded inner child." Um, you know, once I started kind of getting the 411 on what my family's roots were, you know, like my s- you know, my sister, like who was like eight years older than me, she, she started, you know, getting wise to a lot of this stuff before I did. So she also helped, you know- Right ... with a lot of the puzzle pieces- Journey ... of, of that. Yeah. Of that. Um, you know, and now it's like as clear as day, and that's the thing. I love my parents. Returning to Triggers I have great respect for what they went through, you know, and I love them. Um, it's just for most people with contentious relationships with their family W- like, as long as your sense of survival is competing with your family, like, uh, your, you don't have room for compassion to see them as objective, neutral human beings. You know what I mean? Like, for most people, bro, like, they have to move out of their parents' house to heal that relationship. It certainly is that way for me. Like, it's different for me. Like you said, you moved back to Greece. You went back into the snake den. Yeah. You went back into the triggers. Yeah. I, I had to, to do that when I lost... I was laid off twice last year. I couldn't afford paying 1,800 a month in rent without a job for an eighth month. I was like, "All right, dude, I'm just fucking blowing through money like crazy." Like, you know, it's time to move back. Um, and I didn't see it as a failure. I saw it as progress, you know? Like some video games, you have to return back to an earlier level and confront the boss, 'cause now you have the experience and the, the toolkit to, to, you know, adequately handle it maturely without collapsing. Um... Spiral Healing Mindset Yeah, I believe it's about holding... It's basically you're going back to the knot or the energy that's just remained congested or stuck, and you're going back to liberate it by holding space for it, by choosing differently, right? Because you didn't know any better and there was lack of awareness, there was lack of consciousness. So it's like there's a going back, but it's not really regressing. It's... I al- always see it as a spiral, you know? We're just, like, spiraling through life and peeling back layers. So it's like you go back to the same place, but yeah, the triggers will tell you, will bring up a certain story from the past. But you're there as your present self to hold space for the trigger and for the, the, the past trauma. Yeah. And that's how transformation happens. That is how we raise consciousness, which is like the s- yeah, like the spiral that just keeps on going and elevates, and it's all about consciousness for me. Like, just understanding now what we couldn't understand back then. And yeah, like, we have to go... A lot of people will avoid the trauma, will avoid the pain, but, um, I mean, we, we, we both dabble into astrology. We both have Scorpio placements. This is the Scorpio magic. You know, it's a lot of the- Yeah, it's- the, that repressed- We help people- ... stuff that- Yeah ... a lot of people avoid and neglect or wanna drink it away, smoke it away, numb it away, whatever, like whatever vice you wanna bring into the picture. Porn and Shame Loops For me, it was 15 years of pornography. That's how I was escaping and numbing. Yeah. But once you let yourself feel it, but also, you know, witness, right? Like witnessing is such a key and perhaps the most powerful thing we can do as human beings for ourselves, for each other. Because when we witness and, you know, we don't judge, we don't, um, blame, we don't resent, we just remain in that neutral space, the energy can move. The emo- the emotion can move, and yeah, sometimes it's very painful. Sometimes it can bring us to our knees, it can bring us to the floor. But we have to feel it and not judge it or hate it or whatever, just remain as neutral as we can, and then that's how it transforms, and that's how we're liberated Yep, yep, shame is not the path. And yep, I tried to smoke it away, you know, but even in my mind I'm like, "No, this isn't it." Like, like, you know, like, the ceiling for this is very low. You know what I mean? Like, so thankfully I didn't have to abuse myself too hard in the drugs department to, you know, to be like, "No, there needs to be a better way of, of addressing this." But yeah, with the porn, yeah, I started w- watching porn when I was 10 years old. Very, very early, you know? And that has been one of the m- more difficult ones to address, but definitely it involved not having shame around relapsing around it, because that was instrumental in healing it. You know? It's like- ... dude, you, it's like, 'cause you could, you could abstain for six months- Yep ... but, but it's mainly ju- but avoidance is not the same thing as healing your triggers. You know what I mean? Like, it's easy to not watch porn when you're in a relationship and you're getting your rocks off on a regular basis, you know? Like, that's easy, but being occupied is not the same thing as... You know what I mean? Healing the things that make you, like, like Gollum in Lord of the Rings, makes you reach for it in the first place like, "My precious." You know? Like, y- y- you, you want to minimize that. W- we're not gonna get rid of it overnight, and we ha- uh, have to introduce gr- a lot of grace and compassion, because the shaming just makes the loop stronger. And like- Yeah ... I had to go through, I had to go through years of just shaming myself to be like, "Oh, man, that really doesn't work." And I must say, like, plant medicine, while it's not the end-all be-all, because I know in new age spirituality more people wanna just take drugs than, like, practice breathwork, and more inherent intrinsic tools. Yeah. So there is a lot of spiritual bypassing, for sure. For sure. You know? Like, tons of charlatans out there, like, with astrology, with, with any... It's just like any, any industry, man. There are the charlatans, and then there are the legitimate practitioners. Um- I forgot what I was gonna say, but I think I can stop there So I did, act- actually, I didn't know you had an issue with pornography. Did you have an addiction? Did you wanna quit it and you had a hard time quitting or...? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Attachment and Intimacy Being a, being, yeah, kind of an alienated kid, not, not the most social butterfly of a kid, you know? So I was not getting my serotonin and oxytocin needs met. Um, like, and you can- So it was like a form of just, uh- Avoidant attachment ... artificial intimacy. Yeah, and then, like, we can get into the whole avoidant anxious attachment piece, but like, yeah, for a lot of men, I'd say, that are struggling with, you know, disorganized or avoidant attachment, it's like, yeah, when dopamine is all you have for most of your life and you didn't get enough of that y- again, the bonding hormone, serotonin, oxytocin, you did not get the concept that safety was in relation to other people. You were programmed that safety happened alone. You had to get away from everyone else so you could regulate. That was the programming message, the signal. Yeah. And now, as an adult, I'm learning to do it all, man, to regulate on my own and in the context of someone else, and to also be of service to someone else, not make it all about me, you know? Because, like, I'm, like, unintegrated, unresolved, so I'm not able to show up for the people in my life, you know? Like D- I've dr- I've dragged some exes through the mud, let me tell you. So I'm ready to relationally source and be the healed example in my relationships. Like, 'cause let me tell you, um, 'cause my Chiron is in Virgo in the house of relationships. Mm-hmm. So I can be extremely perfectionistic about myself and nitpick other people's flaws, and so the medicine for that is just- Be the healed example, me in my relationships, and that entails humility. Accepting that, damn, I'm sometimes the person that I'm bitching about- Mm-hmm ... and annoyed about. I can sometimes be that person too, 'cause I'm a human being. Like, so many people wanna point the finger and just be like, "Bro, like, don't you remember when you were in that situation? Like, like why are you such a hypocrite? Like, where's your brain cells?" You know? Empathy and Temptation Like, uh, here's another good example, um, which helps me maintain my empathy. It's when like the, the Foo Fighters singer, Dave Grohl, like was caught cheating and stuff. Look, I don't condone it. What he did was wrong. Shouldn't have done that. So many people wanna fucking jump and demonize the guy, but it's like, yo, yo, yo, hold up. This guy is in the .0001% of human temptation. This guy's had groupies throwing themselves at him for years. The average man or woman will never know that level of temptation of... You know what I mean? Yeah. So like, again, I don't defend his actions, but also people really need to humble themselves and grow up. Like, yo, imagine if you were in the hot seat. You would be folding like a fucking camping chair, dude. Come on. Like, uh, like people... I'm tired of the masks, of the phoniness, dude. Like, we are too real for a world that is designed to make you demonic, lazy, fat. Like, w- we're see- you know, we're seeing like ripples of that, like all across the world. It's ju- it's not just in the West, um, in America. So yeah, man, like, it's... I love meeting people that- See these things and they're like, "No dude, this shit's fucked up," and it could be way better. Life, society, all of this could be way better than it currently is right now. Yeah. Way more benevolent, loving, reciprocal. You know? Hope for Connection Like, where the right things are subsidized, the healthy things are subsidized, you know, healthy food instead of hear hatred, hear... Uh, wow, fear, hatred. Um, all that stuff is, is subsidized and makes money, and gets the clicks and the social media engagement, you know? But it's not gonna be that way forever. Like, even dating apps now, I heard Bumble made a move where they're trying to offer matchmaking services. That's a big move in the, in the collective consciousness of dating apps, 'cause it means they're on their way out, 'cause they're at the lowest point of their life cycle. People are fucking burnt out on the scams, the bots- Yeah ... the, uh, the, the, the devices. They want in-person warmth and connection, you know? So the, the tides are turning. I see it, man. I see it. Um, and I wanna, uh, yeah, I wanna know what, what you're excited about in terms of, I don't know, I guess your personal, like, um, what do you call it? Like- mm, your healing, your, your renewal. Like g- I feel like I've gone through a lot of renewals recently. I'm sure you have as well. What are you most excited about, um, for the end of, until the end of this year? Solitude to Community Um, I think it's pretty on par with what you told me the other day because of like the, the journey of more, um, solitude and living a more contemplative, just inner-seeking journey. I feel like we move through that phase in order to retrieve something from within ourselves, but then we should bring that out into the world, whatever, you know, we have to express. Because each and every one of us is here to express what is unique. Nobody is here to say and do what I'm here to say and do, just like nobody's here to say and do what you're here to say and do. So I think- Yeah ... a lot of people do move through life not even knowing what that special, unique thing is, right? Because of how we're programmed from so young, you have to go to the s- go to school, you have to get the degree, you have to get the job, and it's like, you know, we're kind of just put in boxes. And, um, we go through the, what do you call it? That wheel. Um, the, the, the hamster wheel, uh, or whatever. Yeah. Um, but if we do at some point feel like there's something more to life and, um, we wanna discover who we are, we wanna know who we are. Eventually, yes, we'll probably need to have a bit more solitude time, travel, journey, you know, it's, it's different for everybody. But eventually bring that unique piece of you that you, you, that special part of you out into the world and share it. Mm-hmm. So for me, it's also collaboration now that I'm looking forward to. It's more connection. Mm-hmm. It's seeking and finding tribe, even creating tribe. I think community is such a special and needed and important part of the human journey. Like, we're not here to do it alone. And, you know- Mm-hmm ... I, I still need my moments of solitude. I still love, um, the quiet and going out into, like, the wilderness on my own or going to the beach- Yeah ... or whatever. But that can't ever be, like, a permanent phase, and it can't be, like, the entire portion of the story. Like, we need each other, and I think, you know, I was podcasting for a good year solo episodes, but I knew eventually I wanted to start bringing men on especially, right? Because especially as far as men's work and manhood is concerned, we're catching up to the women. I think there's a lot of brilliant stuff going on worldwide. There's a lot of men doing the work and even creating community and retreats and workshops and so on and so forth. But we need to- Yeah ... amp it up, and I think it will be amping up, um, especially, you know, with Saturn and Neptune moving through Aries. Jupiter will mo- will be moving through Leo. These are not men's signs per se, but they are strong masculine signatures, right? Aries and Leo. Yeah. So I think that will definitely influence, like, the masculine collective, the masculine energy in women, and men of course. Yes. So, um, yeah, man. Love that. Looking forward to this. More community, more connection, more collaboration. Uh- That's it ... brotherhood. More brotherhood, for sure. Astrology as Framework And- Yep ... I think we should talk a little bit about astrology. I mean, we both love it. We both talk about it. Um- Yeah ... I know when I first started to study it, it was, like, a huge, um, almost a secret. Uh, it's almost as if I wasn't allowed to because of the cultural and religious, especially religious conditioning- Yeah uh, on astrology and anything esoteric, even the tarot, which came a few years after astrology. Yeah. Um, so studying my birth chart really, like, ch- changed my life. Like, it really opened the door into so much deeper and, um, understanding around the shit that I was moving through. Like, porn addiction was there. Mm-hmm. Um, early, you know, early home life, moving from Gr- 'cause I was born in Greece, but we moved to Montreal when I was, uh, eight months old. Like, it was all- Mm-hmm ... in the chart. I know that's, it's, that's extremely specific, but I can name it because I know- Yeah ... what I moved through and I could see, like, the patterns in the chart. So- Um, I'd love to hear your story and journey with astrology and what your experience has been, uh, because it is, uh... it's, it's a big part of my journey and I don't- Mm-hmm ... quote, unquote, "study it as much anymore." I feel like I've reached a level where I'm, um, very, you know, in good relationship with my chart. I obviously track the, the moon and the transits of the year and what's- Yeah, yeah ... going on and how that's affecting my, my my personal planets. But I do remember having a very difficult time in the beginning because I felt like I was doing something bad. I was gonna be, quote, unquote, "persecuted." Again, it felt very ancestral and generational, and I'm, I'm curious to hear- It was just guilt ... your- Yeah ... experience with that. Yeah. Um, it has a very similar, um- upbringing as, as yours with astrology. Like, I'm glad I kind of dove into it after I had already gone to therapy a bit and worked with plant medicine a bit. Um, so when I got into it, yeah, like you said, it explained so much. It explained so much that I couldn't just, like, dismiss it as, like, woo-woo. It's like, as- no, at a certain point you're just willfully ignorant, and the patterns here are, you know, like, they, they don't lie. You know? Like, it ma- like you said, you can name it. Like, it doesn't say, like, verbatim- Yeah ... like, this happened to Sevog here. It's like, n- you're like, no, like, the patterns are close enough to where you're like, "Oh, yeah, that's what that was." That's how that manifested- Yeah. Like- This, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's, it showed me, oh, this is why I felt like an alien growing up. This is why some people were rude to me for no good reason. Hmm. Yeah. Other than just my energy irritated the fuck out of them, you know? Um, now I n- you know, it's just seeing why I'm so sensitive. Like, why do I take things personally sometimes? Um, like, why does it feel like my senses, like, why does it feel like I absorb so much rich information through my senses, and even the way that information is absorbed feels different than it is for most people. Um, then again, a lot of m- a lot of people don't telegraph their body language as, as well as I do. Like, with me, my body language is the biggest snitch. It gives me away before my words do. Like, so you'll, a- and which also makes me not a very good liar either. 'Cause it's like, you'll see it. You will see it. Yeah. Saturn Lessons and Psychedelics Um, but it just, it explained why I struggled so much with early life, period. Um, you know, all the Aquarius placements. Like, I'm pretty sure my planet ruler is Saturn, you know, and then th- then there's Pluto with Scorpio and it's, I'm like, damn, these are, these are some rough ruling planets. Um, but, like, yeah, Sat- Saturn is very common to front load a lot of life's difficulties early in life. Yeah. In, like, the first- It's about- ... like, 30 to 50 years- ... growing up faster Like bro, look at Dolly, uh, Dolly Parton. She's a Capricorn. Bro, she's like in her like 80s. She looks fantastic. Yeah. She looks like she's like aging backwards. So again, Saturn ruled people. Like, w- we're good because our success and our longevity is real, and it's hard-earned. It, and it will stay. You know? It's not a phase. It's not a quick burning candle. You know? Like, we got wax for centuries, bro. We got wax for centuries. Um, yeah man, like the Scorpio placements, the, the... Like it, yeah, again, it's so easy to dig into myself in a way that takes other people lifetimes to do. Um, I was told by some woman, um, that I met at one of my ayahuasca retreats, she did a reading for me and she was like If you weren't born in such a left brain culture and country, you would have been a shaman in the society that you would have grown up in, 'cause that's just what your constitution lends to. I'm like, is this why I have such a high tolerance for psychedelics and I need to take a lot? Like, I need to take a lot for my ego to even begin to dis- like- Dissolve ... like, I can dissol- I can dissolve it, but it takes a lot for me to really blast off and not, like, remember my name, not remember my body. Mm. Like, that's never happened to me. Like, I need to take like a, a, a silverback gorilla amount of mushrooms or acid or, or, or peyote to... And so I'm like, oh, is this because, like, I'm meant to lead in the medicine space because I need to have the tolerance to still be lucid and, like, lead people to... 'Cause, like, I've had experiences in real life where I've had to do that. Like, I've had to lead my whole crew to safety even though we were all just tripping face, you know? And like, I had to be the one to lead everyone to safety. So, like, you know what I mean? I love how astrology gives words to the life experiences you're already having. Yeah. You know? Like, it, it's a beautiful framework- You could name... Yeah ... and, but, but there's so many sub-frameworks to look at it through, which is why most astrologers, they specialize in a framework because the, it takes two, it's, it takes a lifetime to master this stuff. Yeah. It's never-ending, and that's why I, like, I've kind of drawn the line. I feel like it's enough. Yeah. Um, but you know, you, you mentioned Saturn ruler ch- Saturn ruled people, so if anybody who doesn't know, this would be Capricorn, Aquarius. Well, Aquarius for the traditional system- Yeah ... which I, I follow. I mean, I include the modern Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, but traditionally- Yeah ... Saturn is, uh, the ruler of Aquarius. And that does speak to what we were talking about before as far as that necessary solitude. Like, Saturn is quite harsh as an archetype and will- Yeah ... instill that needed solitude to self-discover, to self-rely, but then we can't- Just stay in that. Although f- you know, somebody with like a lot of Capricorn or Aquarius placements most likely will be, would, would want to be more independent than the average person and more autonomous- Mm-hmm and more, um, just self-reliant. And then, you know, somebody who doesn't know why they're like that could probably look to their birth chart and see it, like five planets in Capricorn or Aquarius and be like, "Oh, that's why I wanna tell everybody fuck off like, s- I don't know, like 10 times a day." Which is fine- Right right? Like everyb- everybody's energy is, is unique. It's their own unique blueprint, their own energetic signature. Uh, if you have s- somebody with five placements in Libra- Mm-hmm ... will have a lot of homework to do and work to do as far as being c- in relationship, right? Probably some codependence and, uh, b- not knowing where one person ends and the other person begins, boundaries, right? So like that's everyone's homework- Yeah ... and that's the, the birth chart can really really help you to like, where to put your focus and to decipher things. Abs- no, absolutely. And like, and like I'm assuming we're talking about Western/tropical astrology like and- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Eastern and Western Modalities And V- Vedic, uh, like I respect people who specialize in Vedic because that shit is- Yeah, same complicated. Same, same. It's like its own, uh- Um- ... its own like school of thought and yeah, Vedic is incredibly complex and brilliant as well. L- yeah, my friend told me, he was like, "You need to do breathwork because your emotions are nuclear, and also you're pone- you're prone to gas and bloating, which is also why you need breathwork." So I'm like, oh, Vedic seems like it's like a more personal- Holistic ... user ma- it, it's like a personal user manual. Like it's more prede- deterministic in terms of like this is your like Ayurvedic constitution. And I'm like, oh, that's, it, that is very useful actually because I wanna know more about that because that is actually literally helpful when it comes to like healing your diet, like your gut and stuff. Like Western astrology seems a lot more psychological. Mm. Um, you know, so again, like I love all this stuff because it's, it's holistic in a way that talk therapy never was, that going to the doctor and being prescribed a pill never was. Like th- like all this stuff... As one of my, um, as a very, very wise person once said to me, "It's this and that, not this or that." Mm. Like- Yeah ... I use both Eastern modalities and Adderall, you know? Like I go to the gym and I also do breathwork and I do yoga, you know? Like I- we're all complex dynamic beings, you know? And you know, trying to put all of us into a box, it, it, it only limits the person who's trying to put you in a box. It doesn't limit you, you know? Yeah. Um, but, but yeah, man, it's, it's we're rocking and rolling. It's the, you know, we're, we're adre- we're flourishing in every department of our life, and that is what is important. Like, yeah, do I wanna take a break from smoking weed? Yes. Fear vs Intuition My mind and my body could use a break just, just to have some contrast, but the truth is, I don't feel safe. I, I, I wanna swim to shore metaphorically first before I go deep on, you know, other areas of my life that, you know, could use some TLC. Like, like right now, like I'm, I'm, I'm on a good rhythm. I have good momentum. I don't wanna make any radical changes right now. Like, it's working for me right now. Yeah. Weed is one of those things that it, it's very person dependent. Like, I know like m- I know my friend, he's a CEO, like smokes weed all day every day and runs laps around sober people, like as m- you know, makes 200K a year. Like by all intents and purposes, like you would never think this guy, his life is being ruined because he smokes weed. Like, and then there are some people, they're terrible sober people. I'm like, "Bro, you could use drugs." Like, 'cause sober you're terrible, like in your current state. So but each person needs to arrive at their own conclusions about what their body needs, what their constitution needs, and most people are too disconnected to feel into that. Like, their fear is too wrapped up with their intuition, you know? That's another thing you learn in your healing journey. Separate your fear from your intuition, from your gut instincts. Yeah. 'Cause those two can be too blurry, you know? Yeah. And it takes a lot of, uh, it, it take, that takes practice, like to discern, to be able to separate the two, for sure. Yeah. Differentiate, man. As men, we need to differentiate. So Advice for Hurting Men Sev, let's bring this, uh, full circle. Yes. Uh, for the men listening to this episode, to the men who are curious about healing, doing sci- doing some type of work, maybe they've been inspired by something I said and you said from this conversation, what is some advice you'd like to offer the, to the man that is hurting, is in pain, and wants to better and improve himself? Well, having been there myself a lot, and I still find myself there time to time, like once or twice a year, you know, dark night of the soul here and there. It gets better. It gets better. Not always overnight Things will happen that will make you go, "Wow, everything was leading up to that beautiful You know, everything falling into place, and it's, and it just makes you go, "Okay, like my suffering isn't as random as it feels. It's not as disjointed from everyone else as it feels." Because when you're suffering, it feels like you're the only one going through it, but you're not. Yeah. Um, um, but it's... Yeah, like you also need to know, you need to get brutally honest with how much do you play a role in your own suffering, you know? Like, because not all suffering is productive. Some of it is mostly self-inflicted and, you know, self-victimized. Hmm. And I say that as someone who sometimes still falls into that trap and I need to catch myself and be like, "Wait, no, I'm, I'm, I'm wanting to people please, or I'm wanting to play the victim right now. No, let's recenter, let's pivot. Let's try it out again." You know, there's no such thing as 100% healed. No such thing. What that looks like is you catch yourself drifting quicker and you course correct quicker, more maturely. That's all. That's all being 100% healed is. For the rest of eternity, I don't care who you are, how much mastery you think you have, you will always run into triggers and have to bring yourself back to center. So there is no, "I've arrived." Doesn't happen. So don't, don't get discouraged that like, you know, ugh, life is relentless. It's like, eventually you get to a place where you're like, "Yay, life is relentless." You know? J- j- because it is what it is, bro. Like... And trust me, some people are really good at hiding how much they're suffering on the inside. It looks like they're killing it, but then afterwards they'll tell me something that tells me they were, like, sometimes suicidal, and I'm like, "Whoa, bro, like nothing is as it looks like." You know? Have discernment, dude. Just because someone looks like they're doing great, you have no fucking idea what invisible battles they put up with every day. You know? You never know. Yeah. So you're doing way better than you think you are, you know? If your heart and your attention is in the right place, you're doing good, dude. Just Tetris block after Tetris block. That's it. That's all you gotta do for the rest of your life. Just alchemize the cards you've been given to the best of your ability, one brick at a time. That, that's it. Lovely. Thank you for that, Sev. Thank you. Thank you. Closing Thanks So we'll, uh, close the episode. For everybody watching on YouTube, for whoever is listening on the podcast platforms, thank you for tuning in. I will be back next week with a brand new episode here on the Bridger of Worlds podcast. And in closing, please remember that you are the medicine and I'm just the messenger. Thank you very much.